xhxhxhx:

me: my friends, today I am going to post about something I know it is a topic of great concern to you all, a topic that has never ceased to raise the passions of the crowd, a topic dear to my heart

me: my friends, I speak of gender

*gasps*

me: I know that this may be a controversial topic, but I want you to know that I am willing to speak plainly and forthrightly, to speak my mind, so that you may know where I stand

*shouting, angered shouting*

me: and I know that some may face terrible oppression for speaking about gender, and I will let you know: I do not fear them

me: and I will speak

*cries of ‘let him speak! let him speak!’ as the audience falls silent*

me: my friends … let me begin with the one topic, so fraught and so important, so dear to all of us, but one that I know is fraught and touched everywhere by the implications of my great subject

me: my friends, I speak of dating

*hushed murmurs*

me: I know that this is filled with controversy and dissent, with rage, with loathing, but let me speak my mind, and bear whatever anger you may direct towards me, yes, let me say this

me: dating is hard

*murmurs of approval*

me: oh, I know as you know, dating is hard! how hard it is to be alone!

*louder murmurs*

me: how many of us worry that we will not find a partner? and how many of us worry about our partners? 

*’I do!’ ‘I do!’*

me: how many of us are alone? how many among you tonight are alone?

*’I am alone!’*

me: my friends, I must be honest. I must tell you something I have carried with me all these years, so that you will believe me when I say I know this from the pit of my heart:

me: I was once alone

*audible gasps, cries of ‘No!’*

me: no, no, it’s true, it’s true

me: it is a terrible thing to be alone, I know, and it is terrible to worry, I know and you know, but we all worry, and we all feel pain

me: I know your pain, I have shared your pain, and I want you to know this: 

me: you are not alone

*tears, shouts*

me: and I feel your pain

*’I love you!’*

me: but I know that I cannot avoid controversy, so I must return to the topic that stirs such turmoil, the topic which is so fraught with questions of language and perception and equality, the topic which has made the personal political, and has pained us all

me: I must speak of gender

*boos*

me: no, no, I know, but I came here to say unpopular things, and I will

me: you and I both know that gender is complicated. there is so much difference between us – between the genders – and it is hard to understand, and to feel that we are loved, and capable of love, but let me say this

me: we are different, but we are also the same 

*cries, applause*

me: and let me say this: gender puts burdens on us all

me: men and women, boys and girls, no matter who we love, or who we are, gender is hard

me: and I know that we all know that with the enormous expectations of our peers we may never know what should we do

*‘It’s true!’ ‘It’s true!’*

me: and I must say – and not to court controversy, but because I believe it in my heart to be true – that sometimes it is hard to tell what gender we are, or whether we are true to ourselves

me: now let me be understood: it is hard to be a girl –

*scattered applause, shouts*

me: – and let me say, let me say – sometimes, and sometimes … it is hard to be a boy

*loud and thunderous applause, broken only by shouts*

me: gentlemen! gentlemen! – and ladies – please, let me say this

*applause dies out*

me: some among us – yes, some among us – also bear children

*audible gasps*

me: I know, I know, it is a terrible thing, and it is a terrible burden, but it a burden that some of us must bear … 

me: … if that is our choice

*heavy applause, whistles*

me: thank you, thank you, and I am glad I have been able to speak to you, to let you all know where I stand … on the internet, it is easy to find controversy, especially when one speaks on such a fraught topic, and let it be known: I do not fear controversy

me: no one ever became popular by posting about gender on the internet, I know, and I do not intend to become popular tonight, but I must also let it be known have never feared the storms of open and honest debate, and I have never been afraid of the anger of the crowd

me: I know that some may pillory me for what I have said here tonight, and I may be hounded, but I know that I have said my truth, and if I go into the darkness, I know that I have said nothing but what I believe

me: that is my stand. I will not retreat from it, and I will not compromise

me: thank you, gentlemen, for your time

*stormy and prolonged applause transforming itself into a standing ovation*