{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "It's kind of unnerving seeing you have Emotions but I guess that does happen to people. I dunno, isn't it okay to just live...", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/165353478073/", "html": "
discoursedrome asked: It's kind of unnerving seeing you have Emotions but I guess that does happen to people. I dunno, isn't it okay to just live until you die, as long as you aren't specifically suffering? If you can get up to cruise control and then coast until you're done that a pretty successful life, right? I can understand wanting to keep things fresh but it's important not to set unrealistic standards for yourself either, I think.
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aaah, it’s a bunch of different stuff that was building in the background for years AND I’m in a phase where the I can only sleep like four hours a night until my mind starts racing again so that doesn’t help and the inciting incident is just so squalid, I’d erected defenses to come to terms that things might not actively get better even when I plug at them and entropy as normal but that someone might actively intervene to make it worse in a way that doesn’t even acknowledge my personal narrative I guess I hadn’t planned against

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I guess the old term “nervous breakdown” might hit it best and what I need is a vacation, find somewhere serene and take my bike out on the open road and OH WAIT

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I mean I was ready to just live comfortably when I came to Portland, “young people go to retire” etc. and I coasted and somehow ended up uncomfortable so that doesn’t work

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And that’s you know WHILE developing my passion here and drawing an audience and earning the respect of people who I respect

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