I’ve used Japanese exactly three times since college.

Time the first, we were on the rooftop at The Standard, one of my friends was coked up and trying to talk to some Japanese dudes in town for a hairstyling convention, and she was like “hay kontextmaschine, do you speak Japanese?”, guessing in the dark, and I was all

“…

…

…

yes.”

Time the second I was talking the JPLT (lv. 3) down at USC and was amused to find that my room’s proctor was a girl I recognized from the executive board of my college anime club.

Time the third I was waiting for my apartment renovations to finish, staying at a hotel, got drunk and lost the card to open the garage gate, and the office was closed, so I went to the Japanese expat/piano/after-hours bar next door to ask for the hotel’s phone number, and after two rounds of “what?” I was like “…fine. tonari no hoteru no denwabango, wakarimasu ka?”, which worked but meant I had to deal with drunk Japanese guys trying to talk to my drunk American ass in drunk Japanese until the bartender found it.

I’ve probably used it more in dreams, honestly.