shedoesnotcomprehend:

Reading instructions for government communication in case of a nuclear detonation. It’s fascinating in a morbid sort of way – especially, I think, looking at how carefully the message templates are planned for effect.

Miscellaneous observations:

• They’re (sensibly) very careful, when giving “please don’t go out looking for family members” instructions, to emphasize that this is what is safest for your family members. Every single time: “going outside to retrieve your loved ones will expose you and them to dangerous and potentially deadly levels of radiation.” This is very smart. I can definitely see myself, panicked and in shock, going “screw radiation poisoning are my sisters safe?” And, similarly, I can see that added phrase being enough to get me to stop and go “…okay, yes, good point.”
  
  
• The occasional inclusion of parenting advice is kind of amusing. Try to give kids tasks to do! Remember that children of different ages may need different kinds of explanations! Stay calm and speak in a level voice so as not to panic your children!
  
  
•  Also very smart: including instructions for “how can the public help.” (Text instead of making phone calls so as not to tie up lines; stay out of the way of emergency responders; offer shelter to people who need it.) It would probably have been smart to make up something the public could do to help if they couldn’t come up with anything real, just to keep people calm and out from underfoot, but coming up with fairly practical answers like that was even better.
  
  
• Some of the messages are weird to see prepared, when there’s of course no particular situation to occasion them. But when you actually stop and reflect, none of them actually seem dishonest.
  
• “At this time, we have no information to indicate that additional attacks are being planned; however, we are taking all possible security precautions to protect the American people.” It would be surprising if, should such a situation arise, we did have information to indicate that additional attacks were being planned; and of course they’d be taking all possible precautions.
• “While it is too early to know the specific impacts, we know that this has been a catastrophic event where lives have been lost and homes and businesses destroyed.” Well, yeah. Weird to see that prepared in advance, but it would definitely be true.
  
  
• There’s a lot of emphasis on the fact that radiation levels will be high for the first few hours/days and decrease rapidly thereafter, which makes sense once I think about it (half-lives and stuff) but wouldn’t have occurred to me. (And it definitely makes sense to emphasize – people would be in radiation lasts for millennia oh no mode, and thinking about it being significantly better within days would probably help a lot with keeping people calm, even if it’s still really bad.)
  
  
• It’s somehow weird to see all the references to Facebook, Twitter, texting, websites, and so forth. Something in my brain apparently classes those as Not Real Official Things Which Should Definitely Not Be In A Fancy Official Announcement.
  
  
• The tip that water in hot water tanks and toilet tanks will be free of contamination is actually super clever and would not have occurred to me.
  
  
• On the other hand, the fact that boiling tap water does not get rid of radioactive contamination definitely would have occurred to me. But still a good thing to specify.
  
  
• The section on “will my power still work” includes fire safety tips for if you decide to burn things for light or warmth or cooking. Which – wow, can you imagine, what a way to go, “there was a nuclear bomb … and then I accidentally set my house on fire with my grill.”
  
  
• All the tiny trivial tips are somehow really fascinating to me. Wash your hair when decontaminating – but don’t use conditioner, because it’ll trap particles and stay in your hair! Which makes sense, of course, but it could easily not occur to you at the time. I just love that someone sat down and thought through all of this and thought “you know, people are going to try and use conditioner when they decontaminate, aren’t they.”
  
  
• Other tips seem totally weird, but given how weird-but-clever many tips are, I bet they are things that would seem sensible-under-stress to someone. Treat cuts and such with first aid – there’s no need to delay treatment because of radiation!
  
  
• Instructions on what to do if there’s a nuclear incident while you’re on a boat. I can honestly say that is not a question that had ever crossed my mind before. But now I know!
  
  
• There’s something grimly funny about all of the guidance on what emotional reactions to expect. You may feel sad or irritable or anxious! You may have trouble making decisions! You may have trouble following instructions! You may have inexplicable stomach pain! You may have difficulty breathing! I just can’t stop going oh my god, it’s a guide to mental illness for neurotypicals.