\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nAnother humans are weird space orcs idea because I really like thinking about it. What if aliens have no idea how to hide their emotions? Like, they suck at poker because they can never keep a straight face or anything. or, on a darker note, their ship is hijacked and they can\u2019t keep the fear out of their faces, but all the humans look cold and emotionless to them. Other aliens hating having to bargain with humans becase we can bluff and keep our emotions in check so well, but when they get frustrated it\u2019s all over. Pirates threaten the space ship and they send the human to do negotiations, and the pirate talking is super confused because no matter what threat he makes, the human just doesn\u2019t seem to be fazed one bit.
\n\n
Someone please, feel free to add to this, I love to see what else people come up with!
\n\nOkay, but now I\u2019m thinking about how this ability is used in the context of animal training/hostage negotiation/teaching/customer service. Not just looking stone-faced, but completely lying with affect, body-language and vocal tone to seem calm, friendly, relaxed and in control of the situation in order to build rapport with an animal or person and to de-escalate aggression in a situation.
\nProximity alarms start going off. A vessel is approaching.
\nCamilian: <looks at viewscreen> \u201cOh zark it, it\u2019s the Parg.\u201d
\nEgrat: <Dashes over>\u00a0\u201cOh erting fraknabs, we\u2019re dead.\u201d
\nHuman Crewmember:\u201cThe who?\u201d
\nCamilian: <shudders>:\u00a0\u201cThe Parg. Remember the civilisations living on those five planets Lei-ward of Helios 6?\u201d
\nHuman: \u201cNo? I thought that system was empty of sentient life.\u201d
\nCamilian: \u201cExactly.\u201d
\n\u00a0Human: \u201c\u2026ah.\u201d <looks at flashing lights on console>\u00a0\u201cThey appear to be hailing us.\u201d
\n<Camilian and Egrat scuttle backwards away from console.>
\nHuman:\u00a0\u201c\u2026thanks a bunch, guys.\u201d <presses hail pick-up button>\u00a0\u201cThis is Communications Officer Haley Makini of the Starboat Fribling, how may I help you?\u201d
\nParg ship:\u00a0\u201cThis is Zek of Parg.\u201d
\nHuman:\u00a0\u201cHello Zek! How are you feeling this day-cycle?\u201d
\nParg Ship:\u00a0\u201c\u2026\u201d
\nHuman:\u00a0\u201cI for one have been missing my family lately, I got a vidcall from my little sister and my cousins - same-generation kin-people - and they told me that cousin Wendy is getting married to her girlfriend Mila, isn\u2019t that nice? So I\u2019m really hoping I can make it to the wedding - that\u2019s romantic lifebond ceremony - because otherwise they\u2019d all be sad, they told me so. Do you have any family - lifemates or brood or other kin-people back in your home-system Zek?\u201d
\nParg Ship:\u00a0\u201c\u2026Zek of Parg has brood of five. All Smallings, but soon Biglings. Soon.\u201d
\nHuman:\u00a0\u201cOh! You must be so proud of them!\u201d
\nParg Ship:\u00a0\u201c\u2026 Yah. Good future replacements for Parent-bodies for Glory of Parg.\u201d
\nHuman:\u00a0\u201cAnd that\u2019s all any of us could want! Imagine how sad our kin would be if either of us were to fail to make it back home! That\u2019s why I want to help your ship Zek, in any way we can. The Fribling\u00a0is only a small ship, but we have some surplus goods and skills to offer if you need anything from us.\u201d
\n<long pause>
\n<No one on board the Fribling\u00a0speaks, but Egrat has anxiously chewed their claws to the quick>
\nParg Ship:\u00a0\u201cHave Lucrum cable? Parg Ship underengine in poor condition, jury-rig not hold, need hitch-tow to Dellar System.\u201d
\nHuman:\u00a0\u201cOh, that\u2019s only 8 parsecs away. Sure, hah, we can manage that. No problem.\u201d
\n\n\n<78 minutes later, after the two ships have been attached via Lucrum cable>\n\n
\nParg Ship:\u00a0\u201c\u2026What kind you?\u201d
\nHuman:\u00a0\u201cHuh? \u2026.oh, I\u2019m a human. I\u2019m from Sol 3, Earth.\u201d
\nParg Ship:\u00a0\u201c\u2026 Parg remember this. Parg remember Haley Makini. Parg remember Human.\u201d
\nHuman: <blinks> \u201c\u2026thank you!\u201d
\n<communication connection closes from Parg end>
\n<Human sinks to ground, hand on chest, hyperventilating slightly>
\nHuman:\u00a0\u201cHolyfuckhowdidIpullthatoffohholyfuck!\u201d
\nCamilian:\u00a0\u201cWait, you were scared too?\u201d
\nHuman: <glaring> \u201cCam, we\u2019ve worked together how long? I\u2019d have thought that by now you\u2019d trust my threat assessment abilities. Phew! That one was so close I felt the breeze going past.\u201d
\nEgrat:\u00a0\u201c\u2026how. How did you just do that?\u201d
\nHuman:\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s not hard. \u00a0Stay calm, just keep smiling, and build rapport by pretending to care about their problems, and meanwhile showing that you\u2019re a real thinking being. Tends to defuse situations rather than escalate them.\u201d
\nEgrat:\u00a0\u201c\u2026I think I saw what you did, but where did you learn how to do\u00a0that?\u201d
\nHuman:\u00a0\u201c5 years customer service experience.\u201d
\nI appreciate that you lumped customer service in with both animal training and hostage negotiation, I won\u2019t lie. Mainly because, oh god, I have had those customers. *shudders*
\nMe too @amy-vic me too. O.O
\n
I repeat, universal domination response to predatory mammals is \u201clook them straight in the eyes, reflect them back to themselves with complete confidence\u201d
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