sinesalvatorem:

For the past few days, my parents have been watching a TV show where a group of British people try to survive on a tropical island. The show is meant to be adventure-entertainment, where the viewer sympathises with the struggles of the contestants in harsh conditions.

My parents have been spending the whole time laughing at how dumb white people are for not understanding everything from saltwater to coconut trees. I mean, what kind of idiot doesn’t know common sense things, like the fact that plucking an entire bunch of bananas will prevent the tree from bearing again, or that the smell of citronella oils wards off mosquitoes? The kind of idiots who didn’t live their whole lives on tropical islands in the Caribbean, it seems. Those poor, summer children.

But what else can we do but laugh? The harvest cycles of a dozen tropical fruit trees are the kind of basic knowledge you’d expect anyone with a brain to pick up. Everyone knows it.

****

During my time in the Bay, I learned that many Americans have a strange device called a “garbage disposal” in their kitchens. I never learned how they worked or where they went, because I prefer to avoid dark magic where possible.

But, the first time I heard someone turn one on, I thought I was going to die.