Yeah I know I’ve been low-intensity in reblogging and answering asks, let alone effortblogging

(I’ve got some wonderful asks beseeching me to effortpost again which I love but in a brusque assertive register that’s clearly mirrored off of mine which I double love)

You know what it is? My days are busy with manual labor. Among the “needs work” of this house, the back and side yards have come alive in spring with all the shit ex-dude mowed down at ground level and called a day. So I’m gardening. I hear that if you take shit out before it goes to seed especially the first three years, and especially especially the first one year, you can cut that shit out long-term.

So I’m on my knees digging in the dirt like a fucking peasant in the hope that one day I won’t have to be on my knees digging in the dirt like a fucking peasant, and this is my introduction to landownership.

And I’m like “man, maybe I should invite a lowly man to make a place on my land in return for tending it” and then I remember THAT I FUCKING TRIED THAT AND IT WAS TERRIBLE.

Peasants. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

Anyway a fun thing about this is I’ve been really getting in touch with my local microecosystem. There’s all these plant species I keep seeing all over adapted to different conditions and I’m getting something from that: THESE ones are tall because they’re competing for the light; THESE ones are thick and bushy because the yard drains its water and topsoil this way.

But I don’t know what the fuck anything’s called so I make up my own names. Enjoy this list!:

Rice Krispie Wheat
Greater Shitvine
Lesser Shitvine
Chillvine
Deviltail

the Flat Cabbage family:

• Waxburger
• Shockspike
• Waveleaf

Bloomin’ Onionfern
Stinkleaf (Not sure how I picked this - the leaves don’t stink, but the shallow roots look and feel like dog feces)

Greenlace
Ambitious Celery
Mushroomflower
Tallthing
Golfgrass