{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "If the real world worked like an RPG, you\u2019d post a flyer about your missing cat some time in 2005, then, years later, Barack...", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/143038707578/", "html": "<p><a href=\"http://spacegladiatorlesbian.tumblr.com/post/141194275985/if-the-real-world-worked-like-an-rpg-youd-post-a\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">spacegladiatorlesbian</a>:</p>\n\n<blockquote><p>If the real world worked like an RPG, you\u2019d post a flyer about your missing cat some time in 2005, then, years later, Barack Obama would drop by after personally defeating Osama bin Laden to deliver your cat, explaining that he was clearing out his quest log now the story was done.</p>\n\n<p>You\u2019d give him a cake and then he\u2019d start opening all your drawers.</p></blockquote>"}