{"version": "1.0", "type": "rich", "title": "cop: we\u2019re looking for a suspect in a convenience store robbery other cop:\u00a0have you seen this person? [hands me a surveillance...", "author_name": "kontextmaschine", "author_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "provider_name": "kontextmaschine", "provider_url": "https://kontextmaschine.com", "url": "https://kontextmaschine.com/post/138465231103/", "html": "<p><a href=\"http://weakenedupdate.tumblr.com/post/132101660052/cop-were-looking-for-a-suspect-in-a-convenience\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">weakenedupdate</a>:</p>\n\n<blockquote><p><b>cop: </b>we\u2019re looking for a suspect in a convenience store robbery</p><p><b>other cop:\u00a0</b>have you seen this person? [hands me a surveillance photo]</p><p><b>me:</b>\u00a0I\u2019m the robber</p><p><b>cop:</b> I\u2019m the cash register</p><p><b>other cop:</b> I\u2019m the vape cartridge display on the counter</p><p><b>me:</b>\u00a0haha\u2026 [shoves stolen money deeper into my pocket]</p></blockquote>"}