I take holidays very seriously. Culture and cultus and all. The thing that most bugged me about the reign of Bush the Younger was declaring September 11th as \u201cPatriot Day\u201d. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO CELEBRATE PATRIOT DAY? Parades? Barbecues? Mattress sales?
\n(I threw a Jenga tournament.)
\nAnyway. Christmas made the transition to post-Christianity pretty well. It\u2019s the feast of one half of the new Santa Claus/Batman dual god, one of the biggest holidays of the year, strong enough that people make up knockoffs.
\n(and don\u2019t think you\u2019re daring for pointing out that Kwanzaa is bullshit, actual black nationalists realized that by, like, Nia of 1966)
\nBut Easter, man.
\nI think part of that is the secular aspects haven\u2019t kept up with the times. Christmas gifting went from rare exotic fruits and nuts to rare consumer electronics, Easter from rare chocolate and candies to trivially ubiquitous chocolate and candies.
\nI mean that\u2019s the only time you get bunny chocolate (pf, no one cares about the Easter bunny) and creme eggs (fair) but psh.
\nSo, ideas:
\n\u2022 expand the egg hunt thing, make it a day for huge scavenger hunts, like the Herald Hunt. (Dave Barry is a national treasure.)
\n\u2022 deprecate it in favor of Good Friday. This sets up a 3-day weekend in its role as \u201cspring festival\u201d and reorients it around death. That\u2019s weird for a spring festival, but it could work. In one direction, as a celebration of the time humanity managed to kill a god, in another set it up as the \u201cBatman\u201d feast, maybe by transposing the Crucifixion elements of Marian cultism.
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