So a year ago we started paying this neighborhood crackhead to mow the lawn, after the crackhead we had been paying disappeared to God knows where.

So he’s kept some tools in our side yard and then suddenly a month ago we wake up and it’s full of junk - busted up furniture, metal scrap, a commercial soil aerator(!) - and so the next time we see him we’re like “dude what the hell”.

He says he can’t keep it at home or his daughter will steal and sell it. Which, I guess, is what you get for establishing a business relationship with a crackhead. Promises to make it up to us by laying down some bricks for our bonfire.

Monday night go to sleep, wake up to this. For reference that pole in the back marks my cat’s grave, which I’d estimate at maybe 1/15th the size, took an hour to dig, and left me sore for a week.