roachpatrol:

kiddthemaniac:

when-the-reindeer-comes-home:

bolto:

white dude in this horror movie : *translates old arabic text* *somehow it rhymes perfectly in english* 

Now I really wanna see a horrible faltering translation from one of these movies, like “Whomsoever enters this room, they shall… well, this word is like… literally it means ‘unbecome,’ but it was used as a euphemism for death, pooping, and—wait, when was this carved?  was it 15th century? Cuz it was a euphemism for sex too in the 15th century.  This is either a cursed crypt, a bathroom, or a royal bedroom. Who wants to roll the dice?”

“You guys, I’ve gotta be honest, okay? This thing’s written in some kind of weird localized dialect, and I’ve only ever studied the standard form of the language. I mean, this part right here…I can’t even tell if it’s some kind of error, or an obscure slang phrase…whatever it is, I have no idea what the fuck it means.”

‘this is written in ancient sumerian. it’s about… uh… well that word is… uh. okay this is either a poem about farming, or straight-up a nasty sex guide. it might be both. i want a shower.’