god genuinely had no idea that people would be able to disobey him, when he made them. angels couldn’t! everything in the universe was just an extension or a reflection of god himself, operating in perfect mechanical order. then he put a spark of his own creative consciousness in an animal and it turned out it could disobey him.
like, that’s why he told adam and eve not to access a perfectly accessible tree. nothing else in the universe up until that point would have done something he told them not to.
that’s why he asks cain a perfectly ridiculous question, given that he would have watched the murder happen right in front of him: where is your brother? what did you do to him? he didn’t know cain could lie. even when adam and eve disobeyed him, surprising absolutely everyone involved, they hadn’t figured out lying yet. cain figured out lying.
that’s why god decides to destroy humans and start over only a few centuries later. he has no idea what to do. not only are people disobeying and lying to him, they’ve started completely ignoring him, too. he can control the wind, the water, the plants, the animals, the angels, the heavens, the earth. but he cut a part of himself loose and gave it to this totally unique new critter and now he can’t get it back. he can’t make anyone do anything, and now they know it. he had to carve humanity back down to the one family that actually, for whatever reason, still listened to him, and he had to ride them pretty fucking hard from that point onward to make sure they didn’t just….. stop. because at any point basically any human, ever, even the ones who liked him, could just randomly decide to fuck off and do their own thing.
then like, according to christians, god thought maybe he could get a handle on whatever the fuck was going on with how bad humans were being by making another human who had even more god in him than all the other humans, and that didn’t work either. and also even jesus himself didn’t know what humans were going to do next, which was kill him young. like, god had to break the news to him based on an educated guess, and it was a big surprise to him! he was really upset! there’s a whole scene!
like, i think this is hands down the funniest fucking thing to conclude about god ever. he didn’t know it was going to turn out like this when he started and he didn’t know what to do when it did. he’s been basically scrambling to stay on top of the situation for six thousand years and he’s totally beefed it repeatedly.
god the omnipotent lord of creation knows everything, except what you’re going to do next. god the supreme ruler of the universe can do anything, except stop you. you have a little piece of god inside you and it lets you defy the most fundamental machinery of existence basically whenever you like.
Y’know what? Fuck you. *Plays an acoustic guitar version of your leitmotif to show you still have tenderness and care in your heart, and compassion for others*
yeah? well fuck YOU *plays a music box version of your leitmotif to show that this is your home and its comfortable and nostalgic here*
No, piss off! *plays your leitmotif with immense reverb and a toned-down synth sound to show that nostalgia can also be about loss of what never truly was, a reflection of a reflection and a false memory of a false memory*
ok, boomer. *plays your leitmotif using discordant synth bass to display your spiral into villainy after you discover that your memories were a fabricated illusion that were created just to keep you complacent, and how that information is destroying you*
How many times do I have to teach you this lesson, old man? *plays your leitmotif in harmony with my own, intensity of both changing as our climactic battle’s balance shifts back and forth, eventually leaving only one with long, low pauses to musically represent our mutual struggle to overtake the other, yet not being able to exist in full without them.*
oh, you’re going to regret that! *plays your leitmotif on piano in short, soft notes to show that you’re being worn down, and that your energy is at a low, but with a steadily rising bassline that foreshadows your upcoming second form*
Long after this fight is over and after the past has been buried, long after the conflict has resolved, as I’m walking home from my job to greet my living family *whistling your leitmotif to hint that I’m still thinking of you*
vermicomposting and growing my own mushrooms have made me finally realise that the thing i’ve always thought of as one whole “rainy northern forest” smell is like, 1/3 that freshly shed worm castings smell, 1/3 that living mushroom smell, 1/3 everything else. in mushroom growing forums/tutorials you often get told “you’ll know it’s healthy mycelium when you smell it, it smells like the most intensely alive mushroomy smell you’ve ever smelled” and people go “how the hell am i meant to know what ‘alive mushroom’ smells like, that’s such a weird description” but then they get some growing well, and sniff it, and they go ‘oh!’ because we have all smelled it before, just never so intensely and in isolation. it’s so immediately reminiscent of a freshly rinsed summer forest, and you realise that you’ve actually been casually aware of how full of mycelium the world is this whole time, even before you read anything about it, just unable to isolate and put a label on that information. anyway, i guess that’s why “forest scented” beard balms never smell even a tiny bit like forest, even if they make a really good effort at all the pine needle and sap smells. Lacks Mushroom
Thinking about how Kiwis are the Commonwealth country* that least displaced the previous locals yet the most poncy about it – can’t remember the last time I saw a young one actually call it “New Zealand” rather than “Aotearoa”
* including the non-white ones! Jamaica wasn’t always Afro-Caribbean
Then parsing that through the distinction between the North Atlantic settler colonies and India/Africa as administrators of a land they weren’t of – South African apartheid started with less invested British colonials being politically eclipsed by Boers – Dutch settlers who considered it their land
I guess NZ is the karmic balance to Rhodesia, the British African colony that developed its own national identity
nanami utena anthy and akio really all lived in that apartment together. i forget how long it lasted but holy shit the rancidity of that arrangement. poison in the tea and the cookies and anthy bringing out a fucking saw. everyone wants to fuck each other and nanami is just there
actually if not for akio this could have been a fun lesbian roommates situation. nanami just found out gay sex exists and she can’t help staring at utena and anthy wondering if they do it. but utenanthy are too busy having metaphorical tea parties and stargazing to actually have sex. nanami laying in the weird bed unable to sleep lest she catch cooties. utena never cleans up her gym clothes and anthy makes the world’s most passive aggressive and hateful chore chart
thanks tumblr for giving me a notification that this post is at 2000 reblogs when it very clearly has nine
The two most culturally important things from the past few years are Friday by Rebecca Black because we learned we like hating things more than we like liking them and Cookie Clicker cause we figured out the only reason people play video games is to watch the numbers go up and since then we’ve just been applying those lessons to new and better incarnations of those two things.
I’ve thought about this post every few weeks for the better part of a decade. continues to have aged terrifyingly well
I have, you see, spent much of my life in close and friendly contact with very intelligent and good-hearted people who know the date when Thanksgiving is, and I learned it as a matter of survival
Alright, getting my bivalent shot and my first flu shot ever – when that became a thing in maybe the 2000s it was framed as for the elderly, but I’ve gotten used to getting shots, this winter infection season should be nuts, and I’m here already
