Back when I was straight I hadn’t realized how incredibly fucking queer the bit in the Bible where Thomas insists on sticking his fingers in the resurrected Jesus’ wounds was

This point, where it is as bright at 4, promising as much daytime left as was once characteristic of 3, I remember from last year!

Been having a very satisfying series of shits and farts lately. Just astounding expansion then contraction of my rectum.

Second straight day it feels like spring. Some of that is just the unbroken sunlight, but “winter is cloudy” is in fact an important seasonal weather pattern up here.

jay-hershelle:

googleme420:

memorycycle:

so what youre gonna wanna do is crush the garlic and ginger instead of just slicing it ok, it releases more of those good flavors. yoshi is going to eat me and turn me into an egg now, i love you. remember everything i taught you

aflo:

a canary with a genetic mutation that gives it superavian lung power, surviving despite all odds for hours during a carbon monoxide gas leak, killing countless coal miners in the process

azaleatown:

Bro these dudes are not Tumblr users these dudes have never used Tumblr this shit isn’t adding up I’m not falling for this shit bro

brendanicus:

kristenwiiggle:

loving this concept

Every band should be comprised of multiple romantic couples who all cheat on each other with each other and then force themselves to stay together so they can take their hate out in cocaine-fueled jam sessions because it makes for better music

evilvillain123456789:

I used your bathroom 15 times last night… yeah. Toilet’s gone basically. Worn down to a nub

Supervillain with a bad attitude and a big fro called The Afro-Pessimist

orbees:

thetursithan:

Incredibile!!

egberts:

wickedwonderlandd:

nsomniacsdream:

nsomniacsdream:

nsomniacsdream:

the-real-skeletor:

I have the biggest dick in 40 square miles

39

38

37

powpowhammer:

lillkogobean:

colorousme:

transgambit:

:

i read this message in the middle of the night and legit thought i was imagining it

i keep thinking about thjs and laughing ao hard my stomach hurts

here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n17B_uFF4cA 

for the love of god please watch the video i am in stiches

did strong bad make this

webkinzcat:

tumblr

First hint of spring today

valtsv:

valtsv:

my phone keeps trying to correcy “scared shitless” to “scared shirtless” and i actually think that’s lowkey funnier than the original

ALT

Aqua – Cartoon Heroes (2000)