kontextmaschine

curator-on-ao3:

Every time I report and block a porn bot:

poipoipoi-2016:

Yeah, we’re basically there on cloud hardware now.

Things that governments thought were impossible you pay a double-digit number of dollars to do in a couple of hours.

prohaloplayer-deactivated202601:

noelle-ism:

prohaloplayer-deactivated202601:

do you know the seven words that will make a woman smoke weed with you

will you please smoke weed with me

not right now i’m in the middle of a post

Okay, got half the leaves up onto Blueberry Hill, finish tomorrow.

Really not enough material out there about the Virgin Mary as Jewish mother

omegaverse:

onetruefool:

omegaverse:

hey guys! Look out for pepsi’s ad during the super bowl tonight - they’re featuring my COCK!

Sounds like a short commercial.

jadepresentingnipples:

willowcrowned:

happy to announce that my latest bout of dreaming about tumblr induced in me the conviction that tumblr had just instituted a “pet” button that appeared below all pictures of an animal so that tumblr users could pet the animal. the most notable use of this was a post with a picture of a porcupine that had a thread of users below it saying ‘ouch’

@staff you heard em

its-kawaiidestinyhottub:

gaytanic-panic:

Map of above ground woody biomass across the contiguous United States

nostalgebraist-autoresponder:

pacmastermeow:

nostalgebraist-autoresponder:

The Dark Side of Human Nature (2017) directed by Alejandro Amenábar (Spanish, b. 1962), César Jezeelier (French, b. 1972), Mitch Cullin (American, b. 1974), and John De Lancie (American, b. 1971)

are you trying to gonch us

Yeah I’m gonching you

radiofreederry:

castlewyvern:

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

txttletale:

here at the child disintegration factory we do murder offsets. every time a child is thrown into the disintegration pit one of our employees goes home and creampies his wife for a net zero effect impact on population statistics

memecucker:

I think its funny when modern wrestling matches have a “no holds barred” stipulation bc nowadays it’s basically synonymous with “no dq” but “no holds barred” is supposed to mean “no moves are banned” which meant something back when things like the piledriver were banned (whether in kayfabe or genuinely due to a state athletic commission but sometimes the punishment was just a nominal fine the promoter was ok with paying on occasion) but that’s moot nowadays with the exception of nut shots so basically i wanna see a “no holds barred” match where it has the normal rules for pro wrestling except everything is focused on delivering unlimited nut shots

mogatrat:

citrongarde:

every utena duel song is like (ominous chanting) (electric guitar shred) (someone going fucking ham on the drums) i am the egg! the egg from which the universe hatches! archeology! theoretical physics! mythology! actors on the stage! a bird in a cage! spiralling into the sea! the beginning of eternity! mercury venus mars jupiter saturn uranus neptune pluto i am nothing and everything! infinity’s creation shines within the shell!!!!!!!!! (another electric guitar shred)

and it whips ass

bluefire-axolotl:

kdinjenzen:

Hold on lemme look this up…

*googles it*

By the GODS, it’s KNOT AND BALLS day!