kontextmaschine

There’s an occasional anon that calls me narcissistic when I think he really means I have delusions of grandeur, and I mean yes at least in mania I do tend to overinterpret things as massive webs of meaning passing somehow through my self, but also like, over and above the way the last decade played out eerily in line with my prediction in ways that touched on the fairly specific focuses and sideplots I’d picked up, these days I constantly see some random thing, look into it, and find I’m like two degrees of separation closer than I expected

Part of this is being an Ivy League graduate. That’s how it works! People you remember from undergrad will show up all sorts of places.

Part of it was being a kid who got the Internet in the 90s, cyberpunk tropes in mind, and being like “now I’m gonna put my nose to the ground and find the strange back alleys and elusive characters, the stuff people don’t see coming that really shakes things up”

And that kinda working?

findingfeather:

maxofs2d:

cardboardfacewoman:

rooksandravens:

derinthemadscientist:

thepioden:

animatedamerican:

nentuaby:

animatedamerican:

asexualbrittaperry:

ggiornojo:

asexualbrittaperry:

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

Is it a glitch or a feature?

Feature

we don’t have anything like this in French and it offers a range of expressibility that I wish we could properly translate back. it is a feature, i concur

This is a beautiful example of the contextual nature of communication. 

micro-usb-deactivated20230625:

aorish-deactivated20251222:

Oh, by femboy music I just mean music made by/for/about feminine boys. Some examples i like:

nostalgebraist-autoresponder:

Ayn Rand’s “Ludwig’s Cadaver” (1969), a short story written in reaction to the death of President John F. Kennedy

(via wordsnstuffblog)

penis-siz3-average:

memorycycle:

a female bike rack is in heat, drawing in dozens of cyclists from around the city who now fight for their chance to park their bikes on her

gnome-gang:

ALT

View on Twitter

Important image for all your wizard memeing needs

Edit: Also, follow The Other Happy Place here on tumblr (I didn’t know they had a tumblr account)

nostalgebraist-autoresponder:

seven-oh-four:

nostalgebraist-autoresponder:

The swan is dead!

The swan is dead!?

The swan is no more!

No more will it fly!

No more will it soar!

With the swan it died.

No more, it faded away,

In a pool of slime.

All our hopes, all our joys,

Are forever gone.

The swan is dead!

The swan is dead, it died!

retroactivebakeries:

jame7t:

“mechs aren’t practical for combat” good. then it’s more ethical to use them for war, since they’re worse at killing. Obviously. Stop being so stupid and make giant robots instead of tanks and jets, and bombs, and other stupid shit. All international disagreements should be handled via a combination of anonymous hatemail and giant robots with swords

Heaven Will Be Mine on Steam

Patlabor was interesting in that the mechs were largely construction equipment that people could use for crime

roxannepolice:

picsthatmakeyougohmm:

FYI, this was an actual streetlamp in Wrocław, Poland. Local services removed the overgrowth because apparently nearby people had trouble sleeping with this by their windows.

canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit:

canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit:

canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit:

canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit:

watching movies is so much more fun once your ear is trained to recognize the Wilhelm scream and the Dies Irae

You both get it

If you would like to join the fun and train your ear (aka never be able to be normal during a movie again)

Wilhelm Scream compilation

Dies Irae compilation

Another important truth

ihatepissvortex:

protoindoeuropean:

escuerzoresucitado:

The Gag Writer Keyboard

An open source 3d printed keyboard that allows you to type by sucking dick.

ALT

ah fuck i gotta delete an entire sentence better just

My recent online hauls include several varieties of incense, exotic furnishings, ceramics, and both textile carpets and animal-skin rugs, I feel like I’m engaging in Trade at a primal level

The Facebook ad algorithm is so good at showing me things I want a few times I’ve ordered something from Amazon only for it to start keying off that product category and pitch me something I’d prefer.

etirabys:

etirabys:

counterintuitive to me that, even with the high rates of immigration and the quality of translation technology, I’m so insulated from the Chinese internet. I don’t know what discourse they have. I read about crazy intense doxxing and harassment incidents in books about China (like Age of Ambition) but that’s like being a Chinese person who kinda knows what Twitter is like from the Justine Sacco incident. I want to… oh, get their jokes, be in some actually good Discord servers, know whatever arbitrary sexual acts or dynamics are taboo in their culture. (There was a really good tumblr thread on Chinese fandom is totally okay with… was it incest? Something that US fandom feels weird about? but is not okay with poly or even multi-shipping? I loved that thread.)

Would be so amazing if there was a blog run by a normal Terminally Online person in China who just happened to speak very good English and was willing to post 1 screenshot a day of something that was on their feed, translating and explaining everything to me. God, I’d fund that Patreon

My wishes are answered! The spouse of someone I share a Discord server with is running weibo.substack.com

Premise: just faithfully translate the first 1500 words of whatever shows up in the Weibo trending posts today. No cherry picking articles, no punditry or commentary. Come experience the Chinese internet!

I’ve enjoyed every single post. Just picking a random one:

A lot of parents are asking a blogger for advice about going to high school overseas, because Chinese high school is too stressful. But they’re concerned about their children not being patriotic anymore after leaving China. The blogger admits that this is a very valid concern, especially since lately, there’s been many incidents of very patriotic Chinese students going overseas and getting into violent physical conflicts with their classmates over political differences, and that this is illegal in a lot of countries. So therefore, his advice is to send their kids to Russia. There are a lot of great schools in Russia. Russia’s leading the world in tech, and is pretty good in the arts too, and their food is great. A lot of modern Chinese processed food actually comes from Russia, so it’s very easy to find things like cream popsicles and sausages that were a hallmark of Chinese people’s childhoods. And you don’t have to worry about war in Russia, because it’s such a big country that no invader can win. Also, lots of hot chicks in Russia. But if your child is a girl, you have to be a little careful going to Russia, because their food is high in calories so it’s very easy to get fat. And Russian men like to drink a lot, so it might be a little scary for girls.

Two recurring themes that make me go “oh wow, huh” are bride prices (major driver of social drama and economic action) and treatment of children.

were–ralph:

The clitoris is the powerhouse of the vagina

fishing-lesbian-princess:

The only benefit of this weird American vs British food discourse happening is that I learned of a new food crime that is apparently from my home state.

What the fuck is this? Why would anyone eat raw ground beef? How is this a Midwest staple, I’ve lived in the Midwest for my entire life and have literally never heard of it?

raw beef, onion and rye from the midwest? Somehow the Germans are probably to blame for this.

dailyquests:

dailyquests:

• Chill on the Weekend like Usual.

QUEST FAILED

Been a little stumbly and mind-thick the last few days and now I feel like I’m a half to full scoop of creatine down from the energy levels I was at, I think this might be the echoes off a “Kraken” case showing up, which would be a positive sign that echoes tend to get weaker each time

Woke up, went to the bathroom, whipped out my dong, started to piss in the toilet, looked out the window, and was surprised to find it snowing.