kontextmaschine

argumate:

ways your phone is like the One Ring:

 - lets you see things that aren’t really there (pokemon, ringwraiths)
 - feels oddly warm/cool to the touch
 - looks light but actually surprisingly heavy
 - you grow increasingly attached to it and keep it close at all times
 - you feel uneasy when people ask to borrow it for a little while
 - always at risk of dropping it in stressful situations
 - forged with arcane magic in a distant land
 - must be destroyed if you are ever to know peace again

mapsontheweb:

The Wallace Line, separating Australasian and Southeast Asian fauna and flora.

trying to teach my kitten to walk behind the laptop instead of over it by giving him skritchies when he goes behind

the result of this is he hides there until I show up unaware and waits to pounce over top or around and it’s fucking adorable

ultrafacts:

He has painted a baseball every day for 38 years to create the world’s - largest ball of paint.

“My intention was to paint maybe a thousand coats on it and then maybe cut it in half and see what it looked like,” Mike says in his soft spoken way, noting that each coat on his ball is a different color from the one before.

“But then it got to the size where it looked kinda neat, and all my family said keep on painting it. And I’ve continued on for all these years.”

How it all began: The first coat of paint is applied to Michael Carmichael’s baseball by his son Mike Jr in 1977

Getting bigger: The 13,300th coat of paint is applied to ball. Visitors have flocked from around the world to add new coats of paint

Source

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kontextmaschine:

a yacht marina is just a trailer park for rich people

(I meant that’s where they go to do sleazy drugs and sex in tight quarters)

Just realized my joke of naming something “Veterinarian‘s Stadium” passed its due date and I’ll have to wait for another proper war for it to work again

mapsontheweb:

Average annual precipitation in Africa.

…as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti…

One of the things I love about Toto’s Africa (1982, 4 years before Paul Simon’s Graceland) is that the very first verse is about the singer trying to bum some “world music” juju off a local and getting totally blown off

1) the Turnspit Dog, bred to run hamster wheels powering mechanical rotisseries

2) the Velo-Dog, a type of collapsible pistol for shooting at the packs of dogs that would chase after early bicyclists

kontextmaschine:

One of the things I love about Toto’s Africa (1982, 4 years before Paul Simon’s Graceland) is that the very first verse is about the singer trying to bum some “world music” juju off a local and getting totally blown off

Seriously though, that song’s such a great microcosm of yacht rock “professionalism” - lyrics look good on paper but no one with an ounce of musical instinct would try to sing them, and somehow they make it work anyway.

Went to my neighborhood pinball bar and my friends were playing Pokemon so fine but fuckit I insist on starting with a Pikachu. So I left them and lapped the block for 15 minutes in the rain.


Plus-sides: met 3 real cats; this bar and across the street are a pokestop/gym combo so they’re far above quota on whimsical girls

kontextmaschine:

Went to my neighborhood pinball bar and my friends were playing Pokemon so fine but fuckit I insist on starting with a Pikachu. So I left them and lapped the block for 15 minutes in the rain.


Plus-sides: met 3 real cats; this bar and across the street are a pokestop/gym combo so they’re far above quota on whimsical girls

someone put down a lure and we’re trying to figure out who to buy them a drink

T-5s: you know I've never eaten a clove of garlic
T-3s: huh
T: huh
T+10s: oh WOW
T+20s: oh wow
T+30s: okay

lifeisverybeautiful:

Cherry Blossom, Japan

(and following: Wait, is it a vampire joke?)

The garlic one? No trick to it, it’s an account of eating a whole clove of garlic for the first time. Flavor comes on strong but fades.

Trivia: that timeline actually works equally well for 5-MeO-DMT

davidsevera:

Human remains could still be seen at Waterloo a year after the battle. A company was contracted to collect the visible bones and grind them up for fertilizer. Other Napoleonic battlefields were also reportedly scoured for this purpose. In November 1822 a British paper reported:

It is estimated that more than a million of bushels of human and inhuman bones were imported last year from the continent of Europe into the port of Hull. The neighbourhood of Leipsic, Austerlitz, Waterloo, and of all the places where, during the late bloody war, the principal battles were fought, have been swept alike of the bones of the hero and of the horse which he rode. Thus collected from every quarter, they have been shipped to the port of Hull, and thence forwarded to the Yorkshire bone grinders, who have erected steam-engines and powerful machinery, for the purpose of reducing them to a granulary state. In this condition they are sent chiefly to Doncaster, one of the largest agricultural markets in that part of the country, and are there sold to the farmers to manure their lands. The oily substance, gradually evolving as the bone calcines, makes a more substantial manure than almost any other substance, particularly human bones. It is now ascertained beyond a doubt, by actual experiment upon an extensive scale, that a dead soldier is a most valuable article of commerce; and, for ought known to the contrary, the good farmers of Yorkshire are, in a great measure, indebted to the bones of their children for their daily bread. It is certainly a singular fact, that Great Britain should have sent out such multitudes of soldiers to fight the battles of this country upon the continent of Europe, and should then import their bones as an article of commerce to fatten her soil!

Also:

The flood of teeth onto the market after the Battle of Waterloo was so large that dentures made from them were known as “Waterloo teeth.” They were proudly advertised as such, since it meant the teeth came from relatively healthy young men.

(Source)

skelenabones:

actually reading religious texts before you practice a religion is both impractical and ahistorical imo, why worry about it

91625:

orangememesicle:

pochapal:

furcourse:

reblog if you had a mogai phase and put what labels you had
i thought i was bisexual heteroromantic

i thought i was a grey-homoromantic ace from age thirteen to fifteen since that’s what the aven hellforums told me i was.

i called myself a pansexual lesbian at one point

homoromantic bisexual.

Back under late 90s/early 2000s paleodiscourse I identified as Kinsey 2.5, eventually realized that “I have purified myself of aversion to gay sex” did not equal “I have any actual desire for gay sex”

More people out there paying attention to modernist architecture than any hobbyist tour I’ve ever seen