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My Dad, the Pornographer

My Dad, the Pornographer

My father, Andrew Jefferson Offutt V, grew up in a log cabin in Taylorsville, Ky. The house had 12-inch-thick walls with gun ports to defend against attackers: first Indians, then soldiers during the Civil War. At 12, Dad wrote a novel of the Old West. He taught himself to type with the Columbus method — find it and land on it — using one finger on his left hand and two fingers on his right. Dad typed swiftly and with great passion. In this fashion, he eventually wrote and published more than 400 books. Two were science fiction and 24 were fantasy, written under his own name; the rest were pornography, using 17 pseudonyms.

interesting.

Tagged: pulp fiction

Got the weirdest phone solicitation of my life Saturday morning. I’m not on any Do Not Call lists, against my principles, but I...

Got the weirdest phone solicitation of my life Saturday morning.

I’m not on any Do Not Call lists, against my principles, but I only occasionally get the stock “important message about your mortgage” and “you’ve won a cruise!” recordings, more often dead air where some robocaller realized it didn’t have anyone free to patch through. Most of my weird calls are for a woman named Tuesday who used to have my number down in LA and apparently left a bunch of debts - first day I had the number I got some downright thuggish guys cursing me out, since then just professional collectors, every so often her debt must get sold onto someone else ‘cause I have to tell a new wave that she hasn’t had the number for years.

Also for a while I was constantly getting shit from the DNC since I donated like $25 to Obama in the '08 primary, not making that mistake again.

This one though. It was 9:30 in the morning, I was asleep, phone starts ringing on the floor next to the bed. It’s a weird area code, doesn’t even list a location (looked it up, turns out to be Las Vegas), and I pick it up, all groggy: “Hello?”

It’s this chipper sounds-to-be 30s-40s woman: “How’s the line?”

What?

And she responds in a perfectly conversational tone, doesn’t sound like she’s reading from a script or anything.

“Sports betting! There’re a lot of college basketball games today…”

I just cut her off “that’s not my thing” and hang up.

In hindsight must be some bookie drumming up business now that football season’s over, maybe trying to make up from playoff losses or expanding with bowl profits, but it was unlike anything I’d ever heard before.

Tagged: telemarketing

Highlights from Bromma's “The Worker Elite: Notes on the Labour Aristocracy”

Highlights from Bromma's “The Worker Elite: Notes on the Labour Aristocracy”

marxism-third-worldism:

The worker elite has three main functions within modern imperialism.

1. First of all, it serves as an active buffer between the ruling class and the proletariat. This function has several aspects:

  • A. The worker elite absorbs and co-opts proletarian struggle. When proletarian insurgency grows,…

The funniest thing about the libertarian -> neoreactionary pipeline is looking at these guys being like “what we need is an elite-run government insulated from electoral demagoguery, in coalition with a tame academy, industry, priesthood, capital and civil society dedicated to patriarchy, anticommunism, skilled labor, and at least lowercase white nationalism” and thinking “man, remember when you defined your politics against the New Deal state?”

Tagged: labor aristocracy NRx

What’s fucked up about small breasts?

Anonymous asked: What’s fucked up about small breasts?

(in re:)

Nah it’s not that small breasts are inherently fucked up, it’s… okay.

A lot of classic pinball art, like comic books and airbushed vans, seems to come from artists without formal training, who just started doodling on lined notebook paper and kept going, without ever actually drawing from life or studying anatomy.

(Wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of them also *were* comic book and airbushed van artists. Like, Christ.)

((Also not to say that drawing from life is always perfect - $20 says the faces on the Paragon backglass were based on the artist’s suburban ‘70s mom and dad))

And, like, there’s nothing fucked up about large breasts either (my particular thing is up higher - collarbones, shoulders, shoulderblades, but I appreciate a nice rack as much as anyone), but for something so beloved in pinball culture (that’s not even getting into the fanmade “alternate” backglasses and translites on pinside), they sure do get fucked up a lot - perfectly spherical, too high, no sense of gravity or mass even when they’re specifically depicted braless.

And in Cheetah’s case, it looks like someone started with larger breasts and then just reduced size linearily to go for a sleek cheetahlike look without factoring in, like, fabric tension or the thoracic wall or adipose tissue vs. glandular tissue. So you get these kind of uncanny valley breasts.

“Uncanny cleavage”. Okay, I impressed even myself with that one.

Like, look at these pictures of actual humans for comparison. This one is maybe the closest to justifying it, but that’s with padding and straps and retouching.

I mean not like I could do any better, my artistic medium is words.

In somewhat related news, the two most #seapunk #misandry-themed pinball tables.

In further related news, butts.

Tagged: pinball boobies outsider art folk art

While we’re on the topic of pinball, the other day I had a chance to play an Avengers for the first time in a while, and got...

While we’re on the topic of pinball, the other day I had a chance to play an Avengers for the first time in a while, and got reminded why.

With the benefit of experience let me update my original assessment: this is the worst Stern game since Austin Powers.

(Like, that means worse than Transformers, Avatar, Stern Indiana Jones, NASCAR, and the ’02 Playboy. Worse than the Stern Rolling Stones, for chrissake.)

And the reason is that this thing must’ve been designed with no appreciation of like, geometry.

Geometry isn’t everything! A lot of people love both Attack from Mars and Medieval Madness despite the fact that they have basically the same shot layout and progression, the big difference is in the multiball rulesets. (Also off the top of my head, the catapult, moat/drawbridge, ramp design [but not routing], trolls vs. martian standups, and the Merlin saucer kicking out to the right orbit instead of the scoop ejecting down.)

Hell, Jack*Bot is the exact same table as Pin*Bot (sole exception being the left ramp lifting up to expose the Cashier standup, I think) only with a much much much better ruleset.

But Avengers. Oh man. Let me tick off the issues:

  • The right few lights on the multiplier lanes are obscured by the Hawkeye ramp at the top right, and worse than that the lanes have absolutely no synergy with the pop bumpers beneath them, I have no idea how they expected people to be getting 6(!) rollovers in a ball.
  • The inlane lights are obscured by the ramp returns from any reasonable stance, which is completely unnecessary and inexcusable.
  • Almost all the major long shots are way too deep and narrow-mouthed to be reliably collected - the Iron Man orbit, the Black Widow ramp, the Captain America loop - and none of them are any more practical from a backhand shot.
  • The one easily gettable shot is right flipper to left orbit and the Hawkeye ramp. But that’s terrible, because that’s the most absurdly important shot in the game - it locks balls for Loki multiball and it’s a safe return right back to the right flipper (and thus the only real safe shot to feed an inlane and thus light the locks). Having a game where good strategy is to shoot the same ramp to return to ramp over and over is terrible design, like Bad Cats or Data East Star Wars-level terrible.
  • It’s not at all intuitive how the Hulk drop targets light multiball and it’s way too hard to get the collect saucer on purpose, which is terrible for a bash toy serving the “something even flailing newbies can get and enjoy” role, plus the ball gets stuck under the toy’s arms way more than is justifiable.

It’s like they just skipped straight from concept to final without working it in whitewood or something (which now that I think of it might’ve been possible if they were rushing to match up to the theatrical release, kinda like what happened with Phantom Menace).

Like, the two possible, possible excuses would be

  1. it’s designed for a much shallower slope than Portland operators tend to use, kind of the opposite of how Stern Indy works better when it’s steep
  2. it’s designed to challenge the highest tournament-level trap-and-aim sharpshooters, a counterpoint to how AC/DC, X-Men, Metallica, and Stern Trek got updates to favor Zen archery-style speed. Would certainly explain how they expect people to get to the Vs. 2-balls, which would require 4 shots to start a mode, however many to collect, then 4 to start again.

Tagged: pinball avengers pinball

Flashed Face Distortion Effect Like many interesting scientific discoveries, this one was an accident. Sean Murphy, an...

sixpenceee:

Flashed Face Distortion Effect

Like many interesting scientific discoveries, this one was an accident. Sean Murphy, an undergraduate student, was working alone in the lab on a set of faces for one of his experiments. He aligned a set of faces at the eyes and started to skim through them. After a few seconds, he noticed that some of the faces began to appear highly deformed and grotesque. He looked at the especially ugly faces individually, but each of them appeared normal or even attractive. He called it the “Flashed Face Distortion Effect”.

Here is a masterpost of interesting tricks you can play on your mind like this one. Here’s my masterpost of all things related to the human mind and brain.

guh.

OH MY GOD YOU CAN LITERALLY PINPOINT THE PERSIAN AND ARMENIAN PARTS OF L.A. BY DOING A GOOGLE MAPS SEARCH FOR "CHANDELIER STORE"

OH MY GOD YOU CAN LITERALLY PINPOINT THE PERSIAN AND ARMENIAN PARTS OF L.A. BY DOING A GOOGLE MAPS SEARCH FOR “CHANDELIER STORE”

When I went to Megacon last March I found this sticker on someone’s car and I still think about it a lot tbh

leetaeiil:

When I went to Megacon last March I found this sticker on someone’s car and I still think about it a lot tbh

Tagged: evangelion

Rand Paul on disability and welfare

Rand Paul on disability and welfare

slatestarscratchpad:

shlevy:

multiheaded1793:

multiheaded1793:

slatestarscratchpad

Let me quote a bit of this:

At a breakfast event Wednesday, Jan. 14 in New Hampshire, the Kentucky Republican and potential presidential candidate spoke out against a public safety net that catches too many people who don’t need help.



I’m not sure why I was tagged in this, but coincidentally I have a response.

Rand Paul is a doctor. Ron Paul is a doctor. The entire Paul family is loaded with doctors and very familiar with medical practice. They’re coming from a place of experience, but it’s experience very heavily filtered by their specialty and their preconceptions.

So my impression of the disability system is that it simultaneously lets through lots of people who don’t deserve it while rejecting the people who really need it. It seems to be a clear case of the joint over- and under-diagnosis I’ve written about.

I don’t know enough to know whether the system is reformable, but I’m pretty sure burning it to the ground would hurt way more than it helps. This is part of why I support a basic income guarantee. Give it to everyone, no fuss, no need to spin a web of lies, no need for a two-year vetting process. That would be a principled libertarian solution Rand Paul should be able to get behind.

Disability insurance and workers’ comp fraud is, even more than unfaithful spouses, the bread and butter of private eyes. Because hiring a guy at $50 an hour to sit outside people’s house for days hoping to take a picture of someone claiming they’re in too much pain to perform remunerative work puttering around doing home improvement pays off.

You know what federal initiatives came before and served as a precedent for Social Security*? Railroad retirement and disability. America used to run on rails, and even in the Lochner era they could be put across as a matter of interstate commerce.

And how’s that going? Well, in the absence of any effort to root out fraud, a few years ago it turned out the Long Island Rail Road was running a 97% reported disability rate.

(* the other obvious precedent would be wartime soldiers’ pensions, which used to be a major line item in the federal budget. Like, over and above the major current VA and &tc. share of the federal budget.

You know, on several different occasions American war veterans have laid siege to the national capital demanding money.

The postwar ejection of women from industrial work, the G.I. Bill, and to an extent the development of the Cold War military-industrial complex came to forestall another go-round. It was not immediately clear that the economy wouldn’t return to Depression, only with the whole population primed for war and trained to think of the USSR as a friend.

Remember, disgruntled veterans were the core of all the European interwar revolutions, socialist AND fascist. So, best to keep them occupied. And it worked! It was a whole two and a half decades before a mob with veterans at its core laid siege to the capital demanding surrender in a foreign war.)

Also, I am flinching in anticipation of when the New York Post discovers this blue website, connects the dots between tumblr-sympathetic but otherwise unpopular themes, and runs a headline reading “Communist Trannies Are Encouraging Your Kids to Run Away, Cut Off Their Dicks with Obamacare, Become Whores, and Claim Disability Because Working Makes Them Sad”.

Tagged: amhist history disability insurance

Not even the 5th most ridiculous sentence I have thought today

“Just remembered I need to go make a reservation to pet a cat.”

Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, and Hooters represent the four thematic seasons of suburban life: winter (New...

Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, and Hooters represent the four thematic seasons of suburban life: winter (New England), spring (Italy), summer (Australia), and fall (heterosexuality).

The kind of literature that fan fiction is did not spring fully formed into being in the 1960s and 70s, though some journalists...

The kind of literature that fan fiction is did not spring fully formed into being in the 1960s and 70s, though some journalists still seem to think so. Throughout this book I have been stressing the link, in literary terms, between fan fiction and any other fiction based on a shared canon […]. It is clear from the comments of fan fiction writers like Ika and Belatrix Carter that one major attraction of this genre for writers is the sense of a complicit audience who already share much information with the writer and can be relied on to pick up ironies or allusions without having them spelled out. Writing based on the canons of myth and folklore can do this too, though as Belatrix Carter pointed out in chapter 7, these canons have been so extensively used for so long it is becoming harder to do anything with them that feels original.

But there is another point, implied in Ika’s remark in chapter 2 - ‘What I like about fan fiction is that you can still get that very highly trained audience that can understand very, very complex and allusive things.’ The use of ‘still’ alludes to the undoubted fact that for the traditional canons of myth, Bible, history, and folklore, this “very highly trained” audience is not as reliable as it once was, because the canon information is not as widely shared as it used to be. […] a writer can no longer allude to Lazarus, Circe or Alexander and be reasonably sure that most of his readers have in their heads the thoughts, stories or images for which he was aiming. The human need for heroes and archetypes does not go away, but their faces change with time, and one avatar takes the place of another. Ika’s point is a shrewd one: in an age of fragmented rather than shared cultures the fan fiction audience is unusual in having as thorough a knowledge of its particularly shared canon as a Bible-reading or classically educated audience once did.

Sheenagh Pugh, The Democratic Genre: Fan Fiction in a Literary Context, p. 219 (via karenhealey)

Stereotypes of the US from a Cascadian American point of view More stereotype maps »

mapsontheweb:

Stereotypes of the US from a Cascadian American point of view

More stereotype maps »

Tagged: cascadia not wrong

This past year, fourteen cyclists died on the streets of London. With the dangerous city roads in mind, British architect Norman...

rikerist:

bison-dele:

99percentinvisible:

This past year, fourteen cyclists died on the streets of London.

With the dangerous city roads in mind, British architect Norman Foster has unveiled Skycycle: a network of car-free bicycle paths elevated above London’s railways. 

If this concept is approved, it could actually appear in 20 years. 

(Thanks to robertsharp for tweeting us this tip!)

I’m a cyclist and this looks stupid as hell.

great idea i bet they’re definitely going to run elevated bicycle paths into working class neighborhoods where ppl actually ride bikes b/c they can’t afford cars and not just run elevated bicycle paths into wealthy districts where ppl only ride bikes for fun because it’s not like urban cycling promotion campaigns have already been largely directed at making biking safer and easier for the wealthy while leaving it just as dangerous and inconvenient for the ppl who are most reliant on urban cycling LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Los Angeles had one of these more than a century ago.

You know, paved roads took off in America in the late 19th century in response to the desires of well-off urban bicyclists who liked to take pleasure trips into the countryside. It was called the “good roads movement”.

The “safety” (chain-driven) bicycle had just gotten invented and bicycling boomed big. Armies were considering swapping bicycles for horses in their mounted infantry units. The urban middle classes took to them as a means of personal transportation that didn’t require feed and stabling. The problem with both was that unpaved dirt roads were difficult and damaging at the best, outright impassable at the worst.

And so there was a big drive to pave country roads. A lot of the activists were gentry youths who were into the pastoral-twee Romantic esthetic (but not enough to, you know, actually abandon economic power centers and go back to the land) and appreciated pleasure riding through the countryside.

It was pitched in pamphlets and traveling presentations to local farmers (America was overwhelmingly agricultural at the time) as for their benefit - no more rutted roads that turned to quagmires in rainy season, breaking cart wheels and impeding access to markets.

Which, fair enough. Ill-maintained dirt roads were a bitch, but on the other hand those farmers were the ones who elected the road commissions, and didn’t care for the taxes or corvee labor necessary to maintain them.

The corvee labor thing was effectively experienced by landowners as a cash tax, as they would hire others to discharge their obligation. This took advantage of the vast pool of unlanded seasonal labor an agrarian economy requires at planting and harvest time. In summers these vagabonds would tend to wander the countryside spending their wages and raising hell. Summer road work was a two-birds-one-stone solution, arguably preferable to the other traditional solution of hiring them as soldiers and starting minor summer border wars.

(Compare the ability to hire replacements in the Civil War draft, compare also the way that my father worked on a 1950s road crew that was effectively a summer job program for high school and college boys.)

And so if they didn’t want to pay for literally dirt-tier technology, fuck if they wanted to pay for this. So the appeals often included offers of annexation into the nearby cities, who would bear the burden of paving (and other utilities) on their broader tax-bases. In return for city politicians attaching their names to the project and expecting reliable votes in return.

And another force paying for all those pamphlets and whatnot was land speculators and developers. What suburbs existed had been connected to the urban core by trains, trams or omnibuses. The high capital cost of which limited routes and stops, which limited how much land could be profitably developed to that within walking distance of a line or stop, promoting dense village-style development. Paved roads and bicycles opened the way for lower-density diffusional development.

An ironic thing is that just as the momentum built for this, the split-log drag was invented, which was an incredibly simple device that made regrading and maintaining dirt roads much much easier.

So the roads were paved, the bikes went out, the suburbs got built, eventually the bikes became motorcycles, eventually the motorcycles became automobiles. And suburban sprawl, the abandonment of collective transportation, and the paving of paradise began about a century and a half ago, under a coalition of machine politicians, profit-chasing land barons, and twee young fixie-riding bourgeois bicycle activists.

Tagged: history amhist good roads movement bicycling transit

i’m post-nihilism because nothing mattering doesn’t matter

kittyit:

i’m post-nihilism because nothing mattering doesn’t matter

Tagged: friederich nietzsche

From Cultured Land Stephan Zirwes

mpdrolet:

From Cultured Land

Stephan Zirwes

a recording of the noises made by al jourgensen as he is forced to watch a kid listen to the decemberists on headphones while...

rikerist:

a recording of the noises made by al jourgensen as he is forced to watch a kid listen to the decemberists on headphones while shopping for cantaloupes at whole foods using a ministry tote bag would be a better ministry album than any of the last fourteen (really, i counted) ministry albums

I ever tell you about the time I saw a guy at New Seasons with a Whole Foods tote and a Resistance Records t-shirt?

Tagged: portlandportlandportland

could the 5naf guy like slow the fuck down a little

swampgallows:

pyramidslayer:

beesmygod:

could the 5naf guy like slow the fuck down a little

he won’t stop until he’s programmed five hundred nights at freddie’s

(500) nights at freddy’s

Philadelphia, PA. 11/2/2014

emilyvish:

Philadelphia, PA.

11/2/2014