In the last year I’ve gotten into fighting, motorcycles, pinball, and leather jackets. I’m kind of turning into The Fonz. Alternately, I’m an indian outlaw.

(my mom was into genealogy - we do have native blood in our line but it’s not clear from where. one of our ancestors was a surveyor, he came back from one multi-year trip past the frontier with a wife, she was recorded as “an indian maiden”)

Inception and Black Swan had a kid who started going to raves with the rape-revenge movies she met in 10th grade art class.

In honor of Sucker Punch:

Brisk & Trixxy - Goodbye Summertime

Back after Salon ran out of money to pay names like Paglia but before they reinvented themselves for the Bush years as the netmagazine of left-of-NPR-we-know-because-we-listen-to-NPR types, one of their few running beefs was with WWASPS, a collective of brutal, offshore or otherwise loosely regulated “reform” camps for teens.

For a while it was one of my dreams to debut the rogue military with which I’ll ultimately conquer the world by liberating one of these camps, to the tune of this song. And isn’t that the height of goddamn adolescent messiah fantasies?

It’s still one of my dreams.

Justin Time - Sweet in Pocket

DJ Vibes - Slammin Vibes

So this is funny. Apparently there’s a company that specializes in these things. I hear the resemblances end at the box.

I was going to say that I want to be famous enough to have one of these made of me, but then I was going to going to say that unfortunately dudes don’t get that, but oh wait they have one for The Situation. They also have a Snooki? I don’t know, man.

Okay I kind of pffed off all those headlines last month about Wikipedia editors being heavily male, but now a problem: the Chippendales page is woefully, woefully short. As in, I’d actually like to know something about them, and reading that I know nothing about them. It does not even mention the tuxedo collar thing. Compare to the page for Playboy Bunnies, who predeceased them in both reality and cultural presence.

Among the reasons we need another total war: the government passing on institutional charisma to graphic artists in the name of propaganda.

Bang! - Give Me A Reason (Ham mix)

Starchild - Starchild

It’s my 200th post, which is important for someone with ten fingers, so to celebrate I will pass on some heavy wisdom!

Enlightenment, sociopathy, and immaturity are the same thing!: the realization of the power of not caring

accordingly

the enlightened>the unenlightened

sociopaths>sociotypicals

the immature>the mature

sociopaths>the mature

the immature>the unenlightened

&tc.

I’ve been playing a bunch of Hexic lately. (I make myself get a certain amount of gamerscore before I buy a new game. It paces me.) It’s kind of like playing Bejeweled with a color-blindness chart?

That’s a clever way of saying it, right? I like clever ways of saying things.

its’ a shame Tumblr (or my theme) doesn’t timestamp things like livejournal, because future historians might find it interesting how many and which posts came right around closing time

And here is your happycore:

DJ Seduction - Never Let You Go

I got my first properly addressed catalog at this address

eddie bauer

the only magazine or group subscription that otherwise survived the p.o. box 2step is the new yorker

obvs

also I want to say that in comparison to that, the NRA is the single most competent, rewarding organization I have ever been part of

when i join liberal or neutral or commercial groups always a flood of solicitations two months later as they make money selling my existence on

only people NRA ever sell you to is NRA-ILA, which is their lobbying branch. they entice you with raffles to win scores of free guns* in return they encourage you to lobby and vote with the NRA.

the NRA robocalled me three times about the last city attorney election. do you know who your city attorney is?

you get crazy hotel and car rental discounts with the NRA. my membership has paid for more years than I’ve had it already

I joined up the day of that virginia tech shooting. it was the bush years so i backed the ACLU thinking they were as good as the history they polish but then there was gun control again on the telly and i was like oh yeah thats what the NRAs for gotta cover all the amendments

and then there was that supreme court case they tried to hold off on but when it was happening they went all in and it went right and they whooped it up and started to build the infrastructure to use it as a national crowbar (via incorporation)

the shadiest thing the NRA’s ever done with me is send me a free home defense dvd and commemorative coin with an envelope that was like:

“subscribe and keep receiving things like this, or else send these back in this envelope”

and then in bigger, bolded type

“OR JUST DO NOTHING AND KEEP IT FOR FREE, WHAT THE HELL.”

also they give you a choice of 3 free magazines. I go American Rifleman*, it’s cool and it really teaches you an appreciation of guns as machines: it’s like imagine a swiss watch where every time it ticks it has to absorb the force of a point-blank gunshot.

That said:

*: hey Kimber don’t think i didn’t notice how you gave a ton of Kimber Covert raffle prizes and bought the backpage for a while and got the cover story, or Taurus getting your Judge cover with prizes and buying the backpage two months and then getting the Judge Magnum cover buying double-pages two months, jesus christ obvious much?

P.S. my favorite thing about American Rifleman is that there is in each issue only one ad that explicitly invokes the use of guns against humans, and it is always a full-pager directly opposite “The Armed Citizen” column, a collection of 3 or 4 short briefs about good Americans using guns against bad people.

It’s 10 am on a Friday, that means it’s time for…

OPTIONAL METALLICA!

(my first experience with queueing)